Back in 2004, Sean Fahey provided this list of KansasFest dos and don’ts. Consider it your guide to KansasFest etiquette.
- Don’t go out to IHOP or Denny’s before midnight, or after 8:00 AM (or anytime when there’s sunlight for that matter). It just isn’t natural. You’re more likely to get wet, sloppy kisses on the forehead from drunk older women at night.
- Don’t mention Planet of the Apes (PotA) out loud in any form, including “Planet Der Affen“. Sheppy will go ape, and it’s not pretty… “beware the apes of wrath.”
- Do enter HackFest! Your “Hello World” program written in Applesoft BASIC may be more complete and functional than anything Jeff Blakeney has written lately.
- Don’t say “yes” if Ken Gagne offers to show you a movie he’s appeared in. Politely decline and then run, don’t walk, as fast as you can back to the dorm.
- Don’t play with fire. Don’t play with fire. Don’t play with fire. Jeri….
- Don’t skip Avila breakfasts. Remember: that which doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
- Don’t skip Avila lunches. Remember: that which didn’t kill you during breakfast is entitled to a second chance.
- Don’t start programming Taipan for Spectrum unless you intend to finish it.
- Do plan on staying up late. Most of the fun and more embarrassing highlights of KFest happen AFTER the mature, responsible types have gone to bed. Remember: sleep is for the weak.
- Do wire hack Billy Bass and Furbys together. Evil, annoying experiments like this are truly appreciated at KFest.
- Don’t eat the Krispy Kreme donuts. Very unhealthy for you…. and it means more donuts for those of us who know better.
- Do bring your friends to KFest. Especially the paying ones.
- Don’t install upgrades to the Syndicomm server when EVERYONE with root and/or physical access to the reset switch are hundreds of miles away attending KFest.
- Do play “Bite the Bag” but don’t use your chin as a braking skid on the carpet.
- Do eat at the KFest Kookout — Kirk Mitchell hasn’t killed anyone yet. Not even the vegans.
- Don’t look directly at Ryan’s shorts. The KFest Committee cannot be held liable for eye injuries or loss of depth perception.
- Do go to the Surplus Exchange to find old Apple hardware. The $5.00 you spend to buy a box full of drives is good for the local economy. Really!
Note: Avila University was host to KansasFest before the event moved to nearby Rockhurst University in 2005, where the food was found to be marginally superior.